Still Naïve

Randy Pausch’s “Last Lecture”: Achieving Your Childhood Dreams
I don’t read much, but this book has really got me thinking about how I want to live my life…

Family Life

This guy, Randy Pausch, won the “parent lottery”, with parents who had an “infectious inquisitiveness”. They didn’t believe in spending money unnecessarily. Creativity and curiosity are more important. Growing up, he thought there were two types of families: 

1. Those who need a dictionary to get through dinner. 
2. Those that don’t.

I want to have a family closer to No. 1. I don’t want my family to plop themselves in front of the TV or video games. (But I will encourage them to watch Disney movies as a family. :] Just because I love Disney.) ”If you have a question, find an answer.” In the Pausch household, you cannot ask one-word questions, like “Why?” I like that rule because I feel like it encourages kids to think more. I’m not saying that I want my kids to be piranhas or social outcasts — just critical thinkers.  

I also think it’s good to get kids involved in organized sports because it teaches them teamwork, perseverance, sportsmanship, the value of hard work, an ability to deal with adversity. 

“When you’re screwing up and nobody says anything to you anymore, that means they’ve given up on you…You may not want to hear it, but your critics are often the ones telling you they still love you and care about you, and want to make you better.” 

We shouldn’t just give children self-esteem, they have build it. It will be hard, but I’m gong to try to create a “no-coddling zone” for my kids. 

How to be tactful, like Disney World

Those in the medical field are experts at giving bad news, and they seem to have a way of answering touchy questions with a positive spin: 

Patient Q: How long before I die?

Doctor A: You probably have three to six months of good health.

Kid Q: When does the park close?

Disney World worker: The park is open until 8 pm.

Phrasing is very important. Consider the following sentence:

“Randy, it’s a shame that people perceive you as being so arrogant, because it’s going to limit what you’re going to be able to accomplish in life.”

Translation: Randy, you’re being a jerk. 

Be a leader, like Captain Kirk. But remember…

“Just because you’re in the driver’s seat doesn’t mean you have to run people over.”

Pouring Soda in the Backseat

While his sister was telling her kids not to get their uncle’s care dirty, Randy poured soda into his new convertible to prove a point to his niece and nephew. His message: People are more important than things. 

Another car story: Lucy, I’m Home!

Randy’s wife, Jai, dented both family cars with pulling out of the driveway and into her husband’s convertible. Jai paced back and forth, cooked a special dinner and waited for Ricky, I mean Randy, to come home. But when she broke the news, he didn’t care. 

If your trashcan or wheelbarrow has a dent in it, you don’t have to buy a new one. Maybe that’s because we don’t use trashcans and wheelbarrows to communicate our social status or identity to others.

But I still agree with him. If the cars still work, then drive them.

Keeping a positive outlook:

Randy’s first born child had complications at birth. He was born 7 months premature and his lungs had only just developed. It was New Year’s Eve and the Pauschs did not have time to go to their regular hospital. Jai was halfway to clinical shock. But the doctors have Randy a task to keep her calm enough to deliver the baby without treating a mother in shock. Looking back, Randy has this to say:

“Through the whole ordeal, I don’t think we ever said to each other: ‘This isn’t fair.’ We just kept going. We recognized that there were things we could do that might help the outcome in positive ways…and we did them. Without saying it in words, our attitude was, ‘Let’s saddle up and ride.’”

Other tips from a man handling a shortened lifespan:

1. Time must be explicitly managed, like money. Don’t polish the underside of the banister.
2. You can always change your plan, but only if you have one. To-do lists break tasks into small steps.
3. Ask yourself: Are you spending your time on the right things?
4. Develop a good filing system. File in alphabetical order.
5. Rethink the telephone. Use speaker phone and multi-task on the phone, especially when dealing with customer service.
6. Delegate. 
7. Take a time out. Take a real vacation, without phone calls.

Develop a real ability to assess yourself: How else can we tell if we’re getting better or worse? 

The customer service model of education. That doesn’t mean that you’re entitled to a high-paying job when you graduation. Paying college tuition is like paying for a personal trainer at an athletic club. Professors make sure students exert themselves, praise them if they deserve it and tell them to work harder if they’re not. Students also need to learn to assess themselves. Can they see their mind grow in the same way that their muscles grow? 

From a teaching standpoint: You don’t know how high the bar should be, and you’d only do [students] a disservice by putting it anyway.

The First Man On The Moon

“When you use money to fight poverty, it can be of great value, but too often, you are working at the margins. When you’re putting people on the moon, you’re inspiring all of us to achieve the maximum of human potential, which is how our greatest problems will eventually be solved. 

 Earnest Is Better Than Hip

Hip is too short term. Only buy new clothes when your old clothes wear out. 

Don’t Complain, Just Work Harder

Sandy Blatt toppled backwards down the stairs and then spent the rest of his life as a quadriplegic. A once phenomenal athlete, and at the time of the accident, he was engaged to be married. He didn’t want to burden his fiancee, so he told her, “You didn’t sign on for this. I’ll understand if you want to back out. You can go in peace.” And she did. 

But he never complained. He has a non-whining aura about him. He got married and adopted children. And whenever he talks about his medical issues, he does so matter-of-factly.

A famous non-complainer: Jackie Robinson, the first African American to play in the Major Leagues. He endured racism and knew he had to work harder and play better than the white guys.

Treat the Disease, Not the Symptom

Think outside the box and find alternative solutions, but start at the source. Stressed over debt? Instead of going to yoga on Tuesday nights, get a part time job.

Don’t Obsess over What People Think

We spend too much time worrying about what others think that it interferes with our efficiency. Be direct and straightforward. Hopefully others will do the same and then you don’t have to worry.  

Look for the Best in Everyone

“If you wait long enough, people will surprise you and impress you.”

-Jon Snoddy, Disney Imagineer

If someone frustrates you, maybe you haven’t waited long enough.

Watch What They Do, Not What They Say

Especially when it comes to people who are romantically interested in you.

Cliches

• If at first you don’t succeed, try again.
• Dance with the one who brung you. Not only for prom night — it’s a reminder about loyalty and appreciation.
• Whether you think you can or can’t, you’re right. Do not underestimate the effects of your own attitude.
• Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play? A reminder not to focus on little issues, while ignoring the major ones.

Be the First Penguin

One penguin has to be the first to jump in the water that may contain predators. Randy believes in celebrating out-of-the-box thinking. He gives “The First Penguin” award to the group that took the biggest gamble in trying new ideas. 

Send Out Thin Mints

Here’s a trick: When someone agrees to do something (maybe reluctantly), write a note that says, “Thank you for agreeing to do this. The enclosed Thin Mints are your reward. But no fair eating them until you ______.” And later, all you need to remind them is a one-sentence e-mail: “Did you eat the Thin Mints yet?”

A Bad Apology Is Worse Than No Apology

Insincere apologies insult people. Don’t give them. 

“A good apology is like an antibiotic; a bad apology is like rubbing salt in the wound.” 

No Job Is Beneath You

Don’t be too big for your britches or eyeing the corner offices right away. Don’t be an elitist behind a desk. Be humble and keep yourself in check.

Know Where You Are

You need to sensitive when crossing over from one culture to another — for students, from school to their first job. 

Make a Decision: Tigger or Eeyore

Each of us must decide between A. A. Milne’s beloved characters: Am I a fun-loving Tigger or am I a sad-sack Eeyore? Pick a camp.

I want to be a Tigger. 

Let Your Kids Have Their Own Childhood Dreams

It can be a very disruptive thing for parents to have specific dreams for their kids. 

Lastly,

One last thing I learned from Randy Pausch:

Luck is where preparation meets opportunity. 

I hope I get lucky this upcoming year. 2012!